Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Because nothing says "Christmas" quite like elves driving a minivan into the bushes

Well, as expected, Bix, Libby and Colleen showed up on our doorstep last Friday evening. Jacob had been expecting them to come that day (he must have a sixth sense) so when the doorbell rang, he yelled "THE ELVES!!!!" and dashed to the front door, while Elizabeth burst into tears and said "I'm scaaaaared." Phew, so much emotion surrounding the big event! Well, after enjoying a short reunion with their children, the elves wasted no time getting busy with their house-trashing antics.

On their first night, they staged an honest-to-goodness coup; I swear I feel like I'm living in some kind of elf banana republic or something. They charged our tree, deposed our angel, and installed General Libby as the Tree Topper.

After the revolution, the junta attempted to bind and box up the angel to mail back to the North Pole (do you think that my kids will be permanently traumatized by any of this?)

The next night they got into the laundry (folded, might I add -- I tell you, if they didn't go back to being inanimate stuffed animals in the morning, you can bet that I'd give them a good piece of my mind) and flung it around the den.

We have a Nativity on top of our entertainment center, and some of the kids' underwear landed on the Magi.

There is actually supposed to be a Christian message associated with these elves, but somehow that message seems to get lost in our house, what with the tidy whities on the Three Kings' heads and all. At least the Holy Family was spared.

They also somehow managed to get our 5 foot tall giraffe downstairs from the upstairs playroom.

I'm still scratching my head trying to figure out how they pulled off that one without waking anybody up. Libby rode it at the head of an elf parade, followed by Bix, who rode Spotty the Dog:

and Colleen, who rode a brontosaurus:

Of course, they left a huge mess in their wake -- I think they realized that any elves can "ride some animals in a parade," but it takes little bit more to be a Jacob-pleasing elf.

But I REALLY couldn't believe that I had to start my day today by going outside into the rain to haul my van out of the bushes.

Yeah, Bix got behind the wheel of the Odyssey, and I don't know if it's because it was a rainy night or because he's an 8 inch tall stuffed elf or what, but he drove that thing straight into the shrubs.

Are you kidding me? That boat is almost too big for ME to drive; I can hardly keep it out of the bushes sometimes!! What was Bix thinking? At least he was responsible enough to buckle Libby and Colleen into their NTSA-approved 5-point harnesses.

Nine more nights of mischief remaining -- can they do it? I'm not above begging -- if you have any great ideas for Bix, Libby and Colleen, leave a comment for them here. I'll make sure that they see it!


The Blonde Duck said...

I don't know--I'm laughing too hard to think straight. Love the butterjam cookies! Couldn't leave a comment there b/c of Firefox so I came here! I wish someone would make me cookies every time I got a shot!

Caden and Carter's Mom said...

Wow, you have some naughty eleves! (And quite creative too!) I'm surprised they haven't emptied a kitchen cabinet or two onto the kitchen table. Or unrolled a roll of toilet paper throught the house. Elves, like toddlers, love to unroll TP. And shaving cream on the mirror... ugh! That is just the sort of thing I can see these elves doing. Have they found your computer yet? I sure hope not, because they might cover your monitor in Post-it's or make paper airplanes out of your printer paper. Well, I'd better not write anymore, lest the elves read this and get more ideas. This stuff is probably too tame for them anyway. They sure are mischievious little buggers!

Carolina Belle said...

Man, you have some naughty elves!!! Bradford and Eugenie arrived yesterday, and so we awoke to them eating cereal in the PBK Anywhere Chairs in the family room and watching an episode of Martha Speaks from PBS Kids. Tonight I think that they may empty a package of marshmallows into the bathroom sink and take a marshmallow bath . . .

Caden and Carter's Mom said...

I keep thinking about your naughty little elves! Better lock the bathroom door tonight! What if they got into your lipstick and wrote on the glass windows? Or if they found the powder and left little elf footprints all over the floor? I'm sure Jacob would love it if they decorated the sink in toothpaste, but what a mess that would be! I sure hope they don't stuff your kids' shoes with scraps from the paper shredder. Well, now that would be kind of funny! I'm just glad the elves have not made their way North yet. It is fun to live vicariously through your elves, but not have to clean up after them myself!

Cathy said...

OOOOOOOOHHHH!!! Lipstick . . . marshmallow baths . . . shaving cream!! I think my elves know where to come for great ideas! I caught them trying to rig up a dance party last night -- they put "Hey Ya!" on the iPod and strapped themselves to the KitchenAid in an attempt to replicate real boogie-ing, but I think they still have some bugs to work out with that. I think they are covered for the next several nights, though, thanks to your great ideas! Better watch out when those elves start moving North, Gina -- I think your elves would be naturals!