Answers to the big questions

Like most kids, mine are full of questions, but sadly, my brain simply cannot retain information that isn't immediately useful to me for getting through the day. So the price I pay for my ability to remember that I'm working the school book fair at 1; Elizabeth needs to bring the special snack for the class on Monday; I need green onions for dinner; Caroline needs to wear her class shirt for the field trip on Thursday; I have a brief due on Tuesday; and Jacob has an orthodontist appointment at 3 is that I have no idea what Lithuania's chief export is. If I ever knew it I can tell you that it's gone, long gone. And so are countless bits of information just like that. David, on the other hand, has never encountered a factoid that his spongelike brain did not retain. It's one of the many reasons why he is great to have around.

- Mom, what country borders on Macedonia?
- Hmmm, I think that's one for Dad or an atlas.

- Mom, what flag has a blue stripe, white stripe, blue stripe, white stripe, blue stripe, white stripe, blue stripe with a sunshine in the corner?
- You know, Dad is really the flag identifier in the family. Why don't you ask him when he gets home?

- Mom, what is IN a black hole?
- Well, I always thought it was kind of nothing. Energy? Let's ask Dad.

Well, one night at the beach we were sitting in Fudpuckers , which, as I previously mentioned, was playing a generous assortment of Whitney Houston videos in between its modern country selections. Whitney's video for "I Have Nothing" was playing:




- Mom, what's that thing on her head?

The use of metallic costumery and Cleopatran imagery in early 1990s romantic thrillers? Ahhhh, finally a question for mom!

- Well son. That is a beaded metallic headdress. It emphasizes the regal, exotic, almost otherwordly air of Whitney, and presents a striking juxtaposition to the sensible, disciplined Frank. By bedazzling Whitney to this degree, it further emphasizes the contrast between their two worlds.

- David: She's a diva. That's what divas wear.

David's answer, while technically correct, does not go far enough, and is clearly the response of someone who has not seen The Bodyguard. Lisa, if only you could walk through that imaginary tunnel connecting our living rooms, I KNOW that you could help me out here!